Over the last few weeks I have had some close homeschool friends come to me completely overwhelmed and frustrated. As they vented, cried, and sometimes begged me to give them clearance to just quit I noticed a common theme. A lot of the problems they were having reflected something that I was struggling with as well. They weren’t setting the standard for the house. At the end of the day, you’re in charge of you. How you choose to carry yourself really can shape the way your entire homeschool day unfolds.
You’re in Charge of You!
You can’t control every choice your child will make in a homeschool day. In fact, I am willing to bet there will be days when they do things that leave you grabbing the car keys and running for the door the second your other half gets home. However, you can control what you bring into the household. So often we forget that we steer this ship. The battles you choose to fight and the attitudes you bring to the table really can define the type of homeschool day you are going to have. Here are a few practical things to consider.
Which battles are really worth fighting?
Are you chasing down every choice your child makes in order to maintain control? It’s ok to teach a child that they have the freedom to make choices but that they will also get the consequences that come with those choices. Sometimes you have to be willing to let go of some of your control and let your child make a few mistakes and experience the pain of some of their consequences.
What attitude are you carrying into the day?
This one is so huge! As the homeschool mom your attitude is the most contagious thing in the entire house. If you start your day with bitterness, anger, or exhaustion the children will pick up on that. I am not saying that you are wrong to feel these things. I am simply saying that it is important to deal with them as they will be felt by the kids and impact your entire homeschool day. Take a few minutes to work through these before conquering anything else. It will help the atmosphere of the house and it will help you to see situations more clearly.
Can your kindness overcome their breakdown?
I am the mom of a tween. This is the most shaky ground I have ever traversed. One day all is well. Five minutes later we are conquering life altering problems I didn’t see coming. Sometimes as homeschool moms we have to take off the teacher hat for a minute and just be a kind voice for our children. This means sitting down and talking about what is bothering them, even more than that, it means listening.
Is sorry needed?
Being a homeschool mom means being pushed to the brink of yourself at times. Sometimes the only way to reset the standard for the day is to apologize for messing up earlier on. I am not saying that it is always your fault that something went wrong. However, if it was, own it. Your children need to know that if you make a mistake you are just as accountable to your choices as they are.
Don’t be afraid to change the way you do things.
Your system may stop working. If it does, try something new. Your identity is not in the system you use to run your homeschool. You can change things up and find a new way of doing things. Make the priority the children you are homeschooling and you will find that the rest will balance out with time.
You are an amazing homeschool mom. You are not perfect. There isn’t a single perfect homeschool mom on this planet! However, I would encourage you to try one or two of the things in this post at a time and see if you can regain some of the peace in your homeschool.
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