I have been blessed to be able to stay home with my children since the day they were born. I have been able to homeschool both of them and it has been incredible. I have always worked part-time on this blog from home. A few weeks ago my husband took a new job. It has long-term potential and it has been so good for him but it pays less than he was making. Because of this, I am having to work from home more than I used to while he is home. I am happy to do it because it will be great for the family and I love seeing my husband happy again. However, I have started to struggle with some serious work at home mom guilt.
Work at Home Mom Guilt
When I made the decision to take on extra work from home it was both a good choice and a hard one. I knew that it would mean I was giving up hours I normally spent with my kids. It meant sitting at the computer instead of sitting and coloring. I won’t lie. It crushed me for a bit. I just felt so guilty. I knew that I needed to do what the family needed but it sucked to be home but not with my family. As I type this, my family is playing games together while I have a Pandora station on so I can focus on work. I have finally found some ways to move past the guilt and do what needs to be done. You can move past the work at home mom guilt and enjoy taking care of things that need to get done too.
You don’t have to leave.
It was so beautiful when I realized I didn’t have to leave home to work. I get to be here. Sure, I miss a lot of the stuff I used to be a part of. I am not engaged in every moment. However, I am there for the ones that matter. When you work from home, you get to be home for dinner, to answer a question if it’s really important, or to give a hug when there is a scraped knee. There is something so beautiful about that. When you start to feel guilty, think about how much time you would be away from your family if you went to an office outside of the home.
You are putting them first.
When work at home mom guilt hits, remind yourself that you are putting them first. By choosing to work from home you are doing what needs to be done to make sure your family has what they need. Instead of thinking of the things you are giving up, focus on what you are providing your family. It can help to make a list of everything your work provides for in order to get rid of some of the guilt.
Quality over quantity
If you focus only on the amount of time you spend with your family guilt will quickly take over. Instead of focusing on how much time you spend together, focus on what kind of time you spend together. While I am busy more of the day, I am being more deliberate about the time I spend. I have had to make more time for coloring together. I make a point of reading aloud to my children every night. They can read it, but they enjoy the time together while I read. If you are starting to feel guilty, schedule quality time each day with your children. You will relieve a lot of stress by making plans for special memories.
Your spouse is getting time.
At first, I felt really guilty about putting a lot on my husband’s shoulders. I have come to realize that this is really healthy for them. They need this time with him as the Dad without my input. They need time where he is the sole disciplinarian and teacher. By changing my schedule, I have given them a better relationship with their dad. If you are getting overwhelmed, look at the relationship you are giving them with your spouse. It may be worth that work time to see them grow in a strong relationship with your spouse as well.
Your children learn about responsibilities.
It can be fun to hang out together all day. It can be great to spend time together and just enjoy each other. However, in the real world, there are bills to pay and jobs to go to. When you work from home you show your child that working is a normal part of life. You show them what discipline, hard work, and determination look like. They may not understand when they younger, but when they grow up they will see the value of your work.
Take a deep breath momma. It can be so hard to combat mom guilt. Work at home mom guilt is even harder. Don’t judge yourself against a standard you can’t achieve. Instead, set a realistic standard for your family and regain your joy. You’ve got this!
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Girl, I needed this today! Thank you 🙂 🙂 🙂
I am so glad. We can do this!
Wonderful and encouraging words here. I struggle with some of this guilt – although my work at home is a bit looser than others may be.
Thanks for sharing (and linking up to the #SHINEbloghop).
Wishing you a lovely evening.
xoxo
I enjoyed these thoughts you shared. I work at home too, web design with my husband, and writing fiction and essays. It is a blessing to earn some money while homeschooling without leaving the home. When I do get away for some quiet to work independently, I get the guilty feelings. But I’m glad I have a husband who needs that time with the children while I am plugging away at growing the household income, using the talents God has me to steward over and exercise. It’s taken a few years to give myself permission to do so. Thanks! Will share this with my groups.
This post is spot on! It’s so easy to get wrapped up with work at home mom guilt. I know I have struggled with it a couple of times throughout the years. My daughter truly made me feel guilty for a period of time. Now though, she’s learned that if I don’t work there is no extra money to have even more fun on my “days off.” She makes it a point to be my gate keeper now. (It’s funny how quickly their mindset changes when they see how much life changes when income goes away.)
I am so glad you wrote this post because it’s an inspiration and a wonderful reminder that we’re doing this for a reason. Like you stated, it’s ironically for them that we do work at home.