School over the last few months has been a nightmare. We have had some great moments and we have had some really horrible ones. I have questioned homeschooling. I have questioned my ability to parent my daughter. I have questioned my sanity at times. However, I am now finding out that I am relatively sane, homeschooling is awesome, and no one does parenting right but I am doing my best. I wanted to share some things to look at when school is a nightmare.
What school has looked like:
We will be doing a great job with work. Then I will hand R a sheet of math problems. If it has too many problems she will throw her pencil and then start to cry uncontrollably or become very angry. If I ask her to write me paragraphs, we have the same reaction. If I ask her to read for more than a few pages we see some of the same behavior.
She has often flipped her b’s, d’s, 9’s, P’s and has trouble with certain letter blends. She has struggled with place value, rote memorization, and spelling.
To have R write a paragraph for me correctly is an all day affair! She does not see that she skips words, missing capitalization, and completely forgets punctuation.
What I was told:
“This is normal. She is not going to be perfect.”
“It is perfectly normal for children to flip their letters. All children do it for a time.”
“You just need to work on it more with her. Maybe she just needs more time.”
Then my friend stepped in.
My good friend has a little man with aspergers. She also has a husband who is a principal. As we talked about some of the issues I faced they both told me where to look. They told me these things are not normal. They told me to get her checked out.
I am so thankful they did!
What’s really up?
R has dyslexia and dysgraphia.
As a mom let me start by telling you how hard that is to type. We all want perfect children. We all want the world to treat our kids like they are normal. I worried if I am honest that if I shared this with you she would be treated different and not feel normal. I found this quote on BrightSolutions.us and it is the reason I am posting.
The next confession I have to make, I am relieved. I am not upset that R is dyslexic/dysgraphic. I am relieved. This means that both of us won’t spend every day beating our head against the wall. We have options. I can find new ways to teach her and grow her as a young lady.
If you are a family friend and you encounter R please don’t treat her any differently. She learns different than you but she is still incredibly bright!
Could your child be going through the same thing?
BrightSolutions.US has a very comprehensive list of dyslexia/dysgraphia symptoms you can look through before considering it as a possibility. They also have a site filled with resources. I am glad to talk with you. I don’t promise I will have all the answers but I am glad to listen. I know how overwhelming it can be but I also know how much relief comes from finally knowing what’s going on.
I will probably be posting more Dyslexia friendly ideas, printables, and projects over the coming months. Please don’t be surprised.
I have dyslexia and I never knew. Numbers were the hardest for me because everything flipped so math was bad. Then again my spelling wasn't very good either. It took me forever but I am slowly getting better. Surpisingly what helped me was figuring out what word/letter/numbers I had problems with and practicing them. Plus I learned how to use a keyboard and that has helped me more then writing. I can remember where all the keys are and I don't have to worry about writing the letters write. Just things to think about. I am sure both of you will be just find. =]
Good job following your gut and asking for help! As a SPED teacher and a new homeschooler, I see people running to both extremes — both "give the child time" and "rush him/her to a PSY, stat!" They are trying to help, but the bottom line is you the mother know your child best. It's our job to advocate for our children yet still give them plenty of time to grow and learn. It's difficult for me to find the right balance — not jump to conclusions about my children yet still get outside help when necessary. Good luck to you and your child – you guys are going to be okay. =-)