Over the last few months, I have been watching some of my fellow homeschoolers. I am noticing a trend that makes me more than a little bit nervous. While seeking out homeschooling wisdom, these homeschool moms seem to seek out their peers. Now don’t get me wrong, people your own age can have some great wisdom. However, there are some amazing older homeschool moms who can give you wisdom their younger counterparts wouldn’t consider. Today I want to talk about the value of older homeschool moms. I think it might sway you to approach an older mom and ask for some wisdom.
Value of Older Homeschool Moms
They have been there.
I think it’s safe to say that older homeschool moms have been there. In fact, some of the best advice I ever received was from a mom who was teaching her 7th child to read. Don’t discount the fact that these moms may have been right where you are.
They have made mistakes.
So often, people look at an adult’s grown children and think of doing the opposite of them because of issues they have. Instead, approach that mom. Ask what she would have done differently. I can say for a fact that there are many things I would have done differently when I first started homeschooling. By spending some time with this mom you may learn that she has deep regrets over how something was handled. Learn from your deep regrets and you may avoid the same struggles.
They have succeeded.
If you are trying to succeed at something, why not approach someone who already has? Instead of approaching moms who have been homeschooling for the same time or less than you, approach the mom who has done her time and succeeded. Are you worried about homeschooling high school? Who better, than a mom who has graduated a homeschooler? What about being a mom to multiples while homeschooling? Ask the mom who has many children and continues to homeschool. You may learn a lot from their successes.
They have tricks.
Do anything for an extended period of time and you will learn tricks of the trade. For instance, I will never buy a whiteboard at the store when I can make my own. Talk to these older homeschool moms and ask them for their tricks to teaching a child to read, avoiding the emotional meltdowns, or handling testing. They may surprise you with some of the ways you can accomplish the same task more efficiently.
They will call it like it is.
In our world, today wisdom is overlooked. We want the easy way out. However, with many of these moms who have been there the easy way out didn’t work. Most older homeschool moms will call things for what they are. This may not always make you comfortable but it will help you in the long run if you are willing to listen and learn.
Do you have an older homeschool mom you go to for wisdom? What is the biggest thing she has ever taught you?
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I am ‘an older homeschool mom’ and I have seen that same trend. It is true that I have learned some things from my peers during my 25 years of homeschooling, but I have also been blessed to have homeschool moms that were further along in their journey than I was. I have received so much wisdom from older homeschool moms that I can’t narrow it down to ‘one best’ piece of advice. But I do agree, that a mom who has ‘been there, done that’ could certainly provide good advice.
I too am an older homeschool mom and have seen the same thing.
Thanks for encouraging us older moms.
I am not sure if I am considered an older homeschool mom or not, depends on who you ask I suppose. I have been homeschooling for 9+ years and many of my friends are just starting out.
I really appreciate those that paved the way, when they are willing to share their knowledge, wisdom and experiences.
People forget the value in asking and listening. They feel they have to do what older ones say, and forget that being exposed to the older ones experiences allows them to make a more informed decision.
Love this post, thank you!
Hard to find an older homeschool mom / mentor 🙁
Alison,
What homeschool groups do you involve yourself with? There are some great ladies who would be happy to teach you great things.
I did have an older homeschool mom mentor me before our oldest was even 5. She introduced me to the option, loaned me books and magazines and was simply an amazing mom. She gave me confidence that I could do this. 26 years later, we’re down to 2 high schoolers and a 9 year old.
As an older homeschool mom myself (my kids are in kindy, 5th grade, 9th grade, 12th grade and graduated), I see this too.
OTOH, I didn’t have older homeschool moms as mentors either. When I first started 17 years ago, I was frustrated by the lack of other homeschooling moms who parented like me and for the same reasons as mine so I started a yahoo group for attachment parenting homeschoolers. Almost all of us were in the same boat, starting out without others around who shared our feelings about children. We ended up all being different types of homeschoolers (unschoolers, Charlotte Mason style, waldorf, unit study, etc.) and we had all different faiths and political leanings, but we found our way together and we all helped each other immensely. All these years later, many of those mothers from around the country are still among my best friends and some of us even see each other regularly despite living all around the country.
I do my best now to offer advice to help other homeschoolers. I’ve been writing homeschool columns, blogging and running homeschool pages on FB for over 8 years now and even have a couple of books about starting out homeschooling and homeschooling with nature studies with a focus on making homeschooling fun for the kids and parents alike.
It’s great to find mentors who have BTDT, but it’s also great to find people who feel like your tribe. I think it’s a lot like when we become parents for the first time. Our mothers and mothers-in-law have been through it all and know a ton, but we also have that need to get together with other new moms who are in the same place we are. I’ll continue to be here for other homeschoolers in any way I can, but I also understand the value of those peers. 🙂