I have been homeschooling for over 6 years now and I have loved it. I won’t lie and say I have loved every minute because there are some hard and exhausting days but I have loved it as a whole. I have two kids that I homeschool. One is my complete opposite and the other is just like me. She is strong willed, independent, stubborn, bold, and sometimes she doesn’t think before she speaks. That is me in a nutshell. It can be really hard when you are homeschooling a child just like you. I have found a few things that help us to avoid getting into conflict as often while still enjoying the process.
Homeschooling a Child Just Like You
Before I go on let me say that not every child is created equal. What may work for R and I, may be horrible for you. Tweak these tips or completely throw them out until you find what works for you and your child.
Acknowledge your weaknesses
One of the most frustrating parts of homeschooling someone who is just like you is seeing all of your weaknesses on display. It is important to look at these weaknesses in yourself and be willing to separate your own from your child’s. If not, you may find yourself attacking in your child what you don’t like in you. This can be very difficult because self-reflection is so hard but I can promise it can be very liberating and may do a lot for your relationship.
Celebrate their strengths
Instead of focuses on the weaknesses of your own you see in your child, celebrate the strengths. Find the things that you can applaud and spend some time building these up. Not only will you make your child feel amazing, you will be able to see the good in your child a little easier each day.
Know when to walk away
Sometimes your likeness will cause you to clash. Be willing to accept that fact and be willing to walk away from each other if needed. It is completely ok to take a five-minute break to cool down to avoid saying something you won’t mean. There is nothing wrong with having your child take a 5-minute cool down in their room or choosing to take 5 minutes to hide in the bathroom and regain your composure. Nothing good was ever accomplished by an overwhelmed, frustrated homeschool mom.
Know your limits
There are certain things I don’t teach R. I know my need to control things. I know her need to be in control. Because we share this need we can not work together well on certain concepts easily. Because of this, we have found other ways to learn those concepts. She taught herself to ride her bike and tie her shoes because she was too controlling to let me teach her. I am ok with this because I got frustrated about it every time I tried. This doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong there. It simply means that she and I have found our limits and know how to best work together.
Be willing to apologize
At some point, no matter how you try, feelings will probably end up getting hurt. Don’t be afraid to apologize to your child. Your child needs to know that no matter what choice is made if they are in the wrong an apology is the right answer. Even more than that, they need to know that you are human and can apologize to them just as much as they can apologize to you.
The biggest thing you can do is be willing to work together to find ways to work around your similarities so that you don’t hurt each other. You could be so strengthening to each other if you find the right balance.
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