When my daughter was born I was not prepared at all for the road motherhood set me on. I had a lot of plans, ideas, and dreams. A lot of it fell short of my expectations and I struggled. I adored my daughter but I was in a bad place. There were a few people who prioritized creating a new mom safe space and I will be forever grateful.
Creating a New Mom Safe Space
Are you past the newborn phase? Are you a friend to a new mom? You can be one of the biggest support people in a new mom’s life with some really simple actions. Let me share some ways you can create a new mom safe space in your home.
Have an open door policy.
I don’t mean a free for all for babysitting. Instead, I mean an open door when life gets too hard. I have a few dear friends of mine who had a hard adjustment to a newborn. I have an open door policy in my house for friends who are brand new moms. My friends can come and sit a while to talk, hand me their baby without feeling guilt for not holding them, and go take a much needed nap.
Moms need a safe space to not have to hold it all together. You can create that safe space for someone.
What they need most from you
- Understanding – You don’t have to fix anything for this new mom. You don’t have to rewrite her story. You only have to be there for her as a listening ear without judgment.
- Someone to treasure the baby – When the baby has been crying a lot or being a new mom is too hard, a new mom needs someone to treasure her baby. She needs someone to see all the sweet parts of her baby that she is too tired or overwhelmed to see.
- Rest – Being a new mom is sleep deprivation at its finest. Throw some fresh sheets on the bed real quick and let her take a nap. A hour nap when she knows her baby is cared for can change everything.
- The ability to ask questions – Being a new mom is one huge learning curve. It can be very intimidating to ask questions because of the atmosphere of judgment that is prevalent in our world. It can be such a relief to ask the questions you want to ask in a safe space.
- A safe space to cry – When you have your baby the world wants you to be happy and bursting with joy. However, with exhaustion, post-partum healing, and a plethora of other things it can be hard to have that eternal joy. Give your friend a safe space to cry and admit that it is hard and she is tired. It may bring her a lot of peace to know she isn’t the first mom to cry over this parenting journey.
- The ability to eat an entire meal with both hands – Being a mom is a full time all in job. Sometimes the best you can do for mom is to let eat an entire meal from start to finish. Take the baby for a bit and let her finish an entire meal.
- The ability to brag – Let her brag about her successes. Wins can be so small in the first days. Let her believe the gassy smile was real. Let her speak for 20 minutes about the fact that her baby latched. Let her talk about the fact that she’s tracking diapers. Whatever brings her joy with the new beginning, let her brag.