I can’t believe we are only a few months from having a 10 year old. I am not ready for double digits. I’m just not there yet. It seems like this mothering journey has been the fastest, slowest adventure of my life. I know that is a contradiction but that’s the best way I can sum it up. As I sit here and look at the last almost 10 years I realize there are things your daughter needs to know before turning 10. Even more than that, I am wondering if my daughter knows them.
Truths for Young Girls
Here are the 10 things I really hope my daughter knows before turning ten.
She is loved.
If I teach this child nothing else, I want her to know she is loved. I don’t mean conditional love either. I mean the deep, even I mess up you still care kind of love. I want her to know that no matter what mistakes she makes in life I will love her more than the world.
She is beautiful.
Not because of the makeup she wears. Not because of the clothes she puts on. Not because she can sing or dance. Not because of anything she does. She is beautiful because of the amazing person she is.
She is worth respect.
I want her to understand that people don’t have a right to treat her with disrespect. I want her to know that she has the right to walk away from a relationship where she is being completely disrespected. I want her to skip the season of life where she tries to appease a difficult person who isn’t worth the work.
She is able to say no.
If there is someone asking something of her she is uncomfortable with, I want her to know that she is able to say no. This goes for physical touch and emotional actions. This applies to pushing her beyond her limits and asking her to be something she is not. I want her to know that she can say no if she needs to.
She doesn’t have to change herself for someone.
I spent most of my young life trying to fit in. I tried to be everything for everyone and never was I me. I want my girl to know that she can just be her. If she wants to be in the dirt one minute, in a pretty dress the next, and reading a book or obsessing about a fandom the next, that is her right. I want her to be genuinely comfortable being herself and not feel like she has to conform to what someone else is.
She is braver than she thinks.
My sweet girl is so timid. She wants to be brave but she questions herself often. I want her to know just how brave she really is. I want her to challenge herself and push beyond the comfort zone to accomplish big things.
Anything worth doing isn’t easy.
The current culture spreads a dangerous lie to children. I hope that my daughter knows that anything that will be worth it in life will come as a result of hard work and sometimes disappointment. There will be a learning curve and it will take more time than you hope at times.
Family isn’t only about blood.
I don’t ever want my sweet girl to think that her only real family will be the people who share her blood. Some of the people who love you the most and the longest are from different families completely.
You can have more than one best friend.
I have many. It is completely ok to have different best friends for different parts of who you are. Some people will get certain things about you that others just won’t. I don’t ever want her caught up in the best friend game to the point that she misses out on a great friendship.
You are not your disability or your weaknesses.
My sweet girl is dyslexic but that is not all she is. She struggles with spelling and with grammar but that is not all she is. She has anxiety at times but that is not who she is. I want her to know that these are parts of who she is but these things don’t define her. There is more to this sweet girl than all of her weaknesses.
What do you think all girls should know before they are 10?