10 Things Homeschoolers Wish they Could Say
Homeschooling is a crazy adventure! There are days with laughter and explosive emotions. There are days with frustration and exhaustion. There are even a few days where there is absolutely nothing because we just can’t even. (Those are generally read-aloud days!) As a homeschool mom, I am surrounded by friends who chose homeschooling and friends who didn’t. When holding a conversation there are some things homeschool moms wish they could say. I decided I would write them here. If this is something you think homeschoolers wish they could say, give it a share.
Homeschool Moms Wish They Could Tell You This
I am not patient.
I know that comes as a surprise to you. While I do homeschool two children, I am not patient. Don’t believe me? Watch me when my dyslexic daughter gets annoyed about Math or my son is sounding out the word CAT and getting Ball for the 27th time. Most homeschool moms are not especially patient. There are a few. We shall call them saints. However, as a whole, we are moms like anyone else. Homeschool moms have a glass of wine at the end of the day, eat too much chocolate, or mandate a girl’s night out because they need a break.
If you have been thinking about homeschooling but have been worried that you aren’t patient enough, you probably aren’t. Guess what. That’s ok. We all learn patience one step at a time in this process of homeschooling. You don’t have to be perfect. Take it one lesson at a time and the rest will come with time and encouragement from friends.
I don’t judge you for putting your kid in traditional school. –
Many homeschooling parents view homeschooling as a shield of honor they can bash other parents with. I don’t. Homeschooling is our journey and we love it. However, it’s not right for everyone. I am not going to judge you for choosing the best education for your child. In fact, I don’t even care if you have one homeschooled, one in public school, one in private school, and one unschooled. I wish there were fewer homeschool moms mom shaming their public school friends. We might get along better. Each side has something to learn from the other side.
My kids went to public school for a short season. They came back home. This fall, my daughter will be enrolling in a charter school. It’s not about what your educational choice is. It’s about finding the best option for your child.
My kids are fine socially.
One of the first things people ask when they find out I homeschool is, “What about socialization?” Between co-op, church, store trips, day to day life, extra-curricular activities, and constant interaction with many different ages I am not worried about socialization with my children. My children can go to a playground and find someone to play with in a few seconds. They can also hold a conversation with a cashier at the grocery store, their 85-year-old neighbor, or their 4-year-old best friend. In fact, my daughter spent well over an hour on the phone with her friend today. Homeschool children have social lives.
It’s not about sheltering.
Contrary to popular belief I don’t homeschool to shelter my kids from the outside world. I homeschool to teach my kids about the world by letting them live in it. We have talked about all the major things that people assume I am sheltering them from. In fact, my kids probably know more than they should about some things. For example, my eight year old loves watching animal births on youtube and developed a HUGE love of Harry Potter. A parent bent on sheltering surely wouldn’t let that be the case.
I am qualified but I don’t have a teaching degree.
One of the biggest questions asked of me is whether I have a teaching degree or not. I do not. However, I have brilliant children who love to learn. My goal is not to know all the information. My goal is to teach my children to learn and where to find answers to their questions. Sometimes that means giving them access to safe search engines. It’s about balance and letting your child learn by exploring as well as with curriculum.
My kids are able to go to college.
I say able because that may not be the way they are meant to go. A trade school may better fit their learning styles. However, they are able to go to college if they want to. In fact, my husband is going back to school and on the forms there was a part for homeschoolers to submit information. Many colleges will welcome a homeschooler.
We aren’t in Pajamas all day
Some days we do the pajama thing all day. In fact, I want these so bad! Most days, however, you won’t catch my kids in pajamas. My daughter says she has way too many cute outfits to spend her day in pajamas.
We have bad days!
(Can someone say hiding in the closet with chocolate?) Not everyday homeschooling is going to be a great day. Some days will stink. Not only am I teaching my child the facts they need to know, I am teaching them truths about their character. Character training takes time and sometimes tears. There are homeschool days that hurt. There are days when you make mistakes. Just like any mom, we question whether our choices are the right ones, whether we said the right thing, or some days whether we can justify fast food because we just can’t even.
I am not “putting them in school.”
Many times when I have a bad day and I share this with a non-homeschooling friend the first thing they say is, “Well, maybe it’s time to put them in school.” Just because we have a hard day doesn’t mean it’s time to send my kids to school. It amazes me. I don’t tell my public school friends to just homeschool because they are struggling with the teacher or their child isn’t learning a concept. Giving up isn’t the answer,
I like my kids.
One of the biggest things I hear from many parents is, “I would hate my kid if I had to be around him that much.” This makes me so sad because I don’t understand it. I genuinely adore my time with them. Some days are harder than others but I really like being around them. In fact, we just finished reading the entire Harry Potter series together. They are so interesting, intelligent, and sometimes intriguing.
Do you have something you wish you could say?
Quotes from Homeschool Moms:
I have received some great responses to this post. I decided it would be fun to post a few of my favorites here so that you can see what other homeschoolers are saying.
“My children will be able to learn from others besides just me.” In fact, they already do. My husband, their teachers at church, classes we attend outside of homeschool, and family members who are always sharing facts with them. If anything, my children have a very intense desire to know things because of the many different ways and people they have that teach them things in settings that are not a classroom thus teaching that life itself is a classroom.” – Tanisha Watkins Henderson
“The journey is wonderful. And…Some days you want to pull your hair, or cry…or both! But those moments are little compared to the surpassing beauty of getting to spend every minute of life with these precious littles God has granted to our care for a few short years.” – Jennifer
“In addition to all of the above I get a lot of, “Of course, it must be easy for you because you were a teacher” or “It’s ok for you to do it because you were a teacher”. Sorry, but there is a world of difference.
As a teacher my curriculum is all planned out for me, I teach a specific age group, I only have them for 6.5 hours a day/5 days a week/10 months of the year, and I can take sick days and vacation days. There are IEPs and 504s that help me reach a struggling child. If there is a major discipline problem I can send them to the principal.
As homeschoolers, we know none of this applies. My four years of a college education doesn’t make me any better in knowledge or practice outside of the classroom than the homeschool parent that didn’t finish high school except I can manage 30 kids at one time with no problem. lol.” – Jennifer
excellent. I could add so many more, but you got the biggies & were nice about it. I'm struggling to have a good attitude these days. After over 20 years of the same comments… It's tiring.
I’m right there with you! The questions are old and tired and so am I. lol
This is great. I don't know if I could add anything… I a not patient either. Homeschooling is God's way of working out more patience in me:-)
Maybe I could add that we are not rich, in fact in the lowest 10% financially,and we can still "afford" to homeschool. It really doesn't take that much.
This is wonderful! Sometimes I feel like a tattoo on my forehead with these answers. I've been grilled about my qualifications and curriculum. It's about choice-and what is best for each family-just like you said! Reassuring to know I'm not alone;)
I love this! I don't have any littles yet (we're expecting in September), but my husband was homeschooled. It's definitely an option for us, though we haven't made that decision yet. You brought out some really great points!
After 17 years of homeschooling, there are OH SO MANY THINGS I would like to say to people, and often go through my mind, when they are giving me or my children the third degree about our educational choice. Things like “It’s none of your business. Am I grilling your child on HER spelling words?” and “Are you this nosy with everyone, or is it just the well behaved homeschoolers?” But I digress. Momma Bear is usually well behaved in public. As are her very tall homeschoolers. Probably a good thing! 🙂
My first thought is AMEN! We’re in the midst of our 9th year homeschooling (are you kidding me? How did we get to this point so fast?!?). Anyway, you hit all the big points for sure. The journey is wonderful. And…Some days you want to pull your hair, or cry…or both! But those moments are little compared to the surpassing beauty of getting to spend every minute of life with these precious littles God has granted to our care for a few short years.
Thanks for the encouragement to know there are others who experience the same! Keep on keepng on…and read another book to your babies. 😉
Nine years? It goes by so fast doesn’t it? I am glad to read but do we have to sound it out again?
This may not bother anyone else but I hate being questioned or even praised for homeschooling my son I order to give him a proper Chriatian education, to bring God into our ‘classroom’, and all other iterations of teaching a religious curriculum. In fact, all of the homeschoolers I know personally cite this as a major reason for their decision,, or at least a major perk. I am not religious, although I support my children’s interest in religions of all kinds, and I’m not offended by children praying on the game field or Christmas songs in the winter pageant. I believe whole-heartedly in the separation of church and state, and the absence of God in the classroom is one of very few things I think the current school system does right. Sorry for the rant!
It’s ok. I appreciate the comments. I actually don’t mind secular homeschoolers at all. My good friend is a secular homeschooler and posted on this blog with a great post filled with resources. Check it out if you get a chance.
I’d put how much they surprise me and make me so proud when they’ve learnt something on their own and I finally find out (like when they share it with a new friend!!) Or how when they come up with those Nuggets of gold bits of wisdom… I love that they’re home to share those with me.
That is so true. I love those amazing moments when they just get it and I get to be there to celebrate that with them. Such a joy.
I have homeschooled for 30 years- first our own 4 and now my grandson. I have never understood people who say, ” I CAN’T WAIT until my kids are old enough to go to school!” Yes, we had/ have occasional days when I question my own sanity, but I do not regret a single moment spent with my children or the godly character I see in them! All because we made a choice to do without (financially) so that I could put my energies into raising and schooling our children. And God saw fit to bless our efforts!!!
I love this list!
One thing I could add:
Please spare me the “I once knew/heard about someone that homeschooled and it didn’t turn out well for them. The kids weren’t learning and the mom sat around all day.”
There are days when I do sit around and do nothing. There are quite a few days when we aren’t ‘schooling’. That doesn’t mean there was no learning.
Those would be unschooling days, right? I’ve heard of unschooling, and think it’s a great thing to blend with other types of education. You’re right, formal learning isn’t the only way.
My son went through public school because of all the things you’ve listed here. While elementary school was fine, his public high school was a mess, only by that time, we had an infant in the house, so he went to school for a break from the crying and to catch up on sleep. Haha educationally, he’s fine, but only because of his own efforts. His teachers certainly weren’t present.
That infant is 7 now, and I am considering homeschooling because I do not believe in the Commin Core brainwashing mantra, “common core makes common sense.” She’s going to my son’s elementary school, and she loves it, and the staff loves her, and for now it’s fluffy and glittery, but we are watching her homework closely for common core BS.
Thank you for this list. I’m sure I will encounter all the things you have.
Please excuse typos. I’m pecking on an iPad and don’t want to fix its mistakes.
Homeschooling is only gaining momentum in my country in the last few years. To be honest, I judged them for whatever reason, especially sheltering. How wrong of me. Guess it is because I have never bothered to learn the truth. Wish I could do that for my grandchildren!
I love your comment that your job is to teach your kiddos “how” to learn. We cannot teach them everything they will ever need to know, but we can teach them how to find out.
Susan
EducatingToday.com
Yes! This exactly!
This is perfect. The one thing I’d like to respond to, but don’t is when people tell me they can’t afford to homeschool. We can’t either! But we’ve decided to sacrifice things because its important to us. What I’d like to say is, ” you can’t afford to homeschool with your current lifestyle.” I’m thinking that wouldn’t go over well though! Also I realize there are some people out there, single parents for one, who maybe couldn’t afford to.
Wonderful article!! I have never understood the socialization thing as the kids in traditional school only seem to talk to and play with kids who are within a two year age range of themselves.
In addition to all of the above I get a lot of, “Of course, it must be easy for you because you were a teacher” or “It’s ok for you to do it because you were a teacher”. Sorry, but there is a world of difference.
As a teacher my curriculum is all planned out for me, I teach a specific age group, I only have them for 6.5 hours a day/5 days a week/10 months of the year, and I can take sick days and vacation days. There are IEPs and 504s that help me reach a struggling child. If there is a major discipline problem I can send them to the principal.
As homeschoolers we know none of this applies. My four years of college education doesn’t make me any better in knowledge or practice outside of the classroom than the homeschool parent that didn’t finish high school except I can manage 30 kids at one time with no problem. lol.
We are all doing our best and what is best for our kids. That is all that really matters.
I love this comment so much! Homeschooling is definitely its own experience. I think I may quote you on this one if that is ok with you.
These are all wonderful points. I have expressed many of these things myself.
I especially love the fact that you brought up how people suggest sending our kids to public school as a solution to the ‘bad day problems.’
Love it! I tell people my children are fine socially. It’s me who can’t hold a conversation above grade 8! 😛
This is so perfect! Maybe we should all make a sign to hang around our necks with these comments. 😉
These points are amazing. I wish I can add few of them but m not a mommy yet but Soon 🙂